The Following is an extract from my book which is in working progress.


Chapter One:
On the Bus
(Life is better seen from above)



I find my self sitting on the top floor of a double-decker bus waiting for the assistant director to give me a call on set. These are similar surroundings I have come to be accustomed to; the bus, the catering truck, the tent for teas and coffee and the different departments and the people in them, all of whom hold a radio to produce this television programme.
So far I’ve been through make up, where I was told to shave my two-day stubble, I was fortunate to have Rosie do my make-up because she managed to hide my severe acne pretty well, she was very friendly and began asking me about what I did and I kindly responded. I was surprised how friendly everyone in the make-up room was, it was like a staff room where everyone congregated and could catch up on last night’s activities. To my left sat a man in a pale blue suit I failed to recognise because he had a wet towel over his face and was obstructed by the large lady waiting to do his make-up who was enthusiastically arranging her tools much like a surgeon before surgery all tidy in a line, maybe he’d had a long night, I was starring right ahead in the mirror to see how Rosie made my skin clear again to try to think who he was. I was then directed to costume where I was given ‘Jules Fergusson’s bar staff costume which consisted of grey trousers, a pale shirt, tie and a stripy salmon coloured waistcoat. All of which is a small reminder that I am really working as a barman wearing similar clothes when am not working as an extra, perhaps I should’ve complained to my agent for being typecast.
Every time the assistant director walks into the bus I gaze at him for some acknowledgement that I am here; like a small boy in a classroom with his hand high up in the air waiting anxiously to be picked by his teacher to come to the front of the class. I am that little boy, I want to be picked, and I want to be on screen, even if it is for a few seconds. Perhaps being on-screen is a little optimistic when in truth all I will end up seeing of myself is the back of my head or an obscure image of myself in the background walking past holding drinks; blink and you’ll miss me.
So far today I had to be up before dawn, that makes two days this week, though I am grateful to my agent who has acknowledge my existence after months of silence, the early mornings are a lot to get used to.
The phone finally rang this week and I can hardly turn offers down, as I am not doing anything else, apart from the casual call at Alexandra Palace. I don’t want to find myself at home bored doing nothing and earning nothing, so I say ‘yes, I’m Free’ and I drive to location to find myself bored, doing nothing and earning something.

The glimmer of hope that I have is that I wont find myself doing this for the rest of my life, only now that I find myself ‘between jobs’ and on the path to get my career on the move. As I talk to the rest of the extras on the bus, some of whom have been doing this for quite a number of years and do it full time, others that are doing it full time for the time being until they find their desired job. There are also actors who do background work because casting roles are so hard to come by these days.
I have come to the conclusion that we are all in the same boat, walking on a thread waiting for our big break in our respective fields.
Everyone’s mood is really high and energetic, keeping the spirits up, as the wait for the call on set can be a long one, so a good book or a new paper is also recommended.
It amazes me how the mornings differ from the afternoon; everyone arrives sleepy, unknown and quiet. By mid afternoon we’ve all spoken a bit more. Conversations usually start with ‘which agency do you work for?’ and we compare the number of times we’ve been booked so far this year.
The conversation can also go along the lines of ‘what programmes have you been on?’ and a successive list of programmes would follow, ‘yes, I’ve been on that programme, the food is great on that set’.
Usually, although rarely, conversations stray away from this you can find yourself or listening on people having a conversation in the bus about God and evolution.

Once I found myself trying to catch some sleep between the long takes on the set of ‘Footballer’s Wives’, which was being filmed at the Tottenham Hot Spurs Stadium, a group of guys were talking about the true existence of God. As much as the subject would sound interesting it really wasn’t, it’s not something one wants to come to work to and start hearing. ‘The big bang’, ‘the theory of evolution’, you name it, it was all mentioned. I couldn’t help but build up my thoughts in my head and join in the conversation but I didn’t want to join the discussion, if you believe in God I respect that and you shouldn’t have someone on top of you telling you otherwise.

As I’m called on set for the first time this day I still find myself waiting even more to be given a cue and a role for when then director calls ‘action’.
When it comes to it, it’s all good fun, I’ve been asked to pretend I’m serving people drinks by the bar. The 3rd positions me behind the bar and I try to locate the camera and find whether any part of me will be on shot and I make a big effort though not too much so it doesn’t all look out of place on the shot, to lean over slightly across the counter of the bar and reach the ‘pretend customers’ sitting on the other side and pretend I’m taking an order, all whilst I make sure part of me is within shot of the camera.
In between takes I try to do some flips with the cocktail shaker, but the director kindly rejects this idea and tells me its all fancy and not to do it during the actual take.
‘I understand is all about the main actors and not to cause any disturbances in the back’ I say to myself.
Whilst they take a break to reposition and move lights and cameras, Max Beasley walks near the bar ‘you alright?’ he says to me, before I can react or respond to his polite acknowledgement I have a back flash to remind me where I have seen him before and my brain begins to work at full velocity, was it the make-up room? Its only seconds until I remember that I have seen him naked once before, not in real life, much to my disappointment but on the hit TV series of ‘Tom Jones’. He walks to the long mirror which circulates the bar area to rearrange his hair and make sure everything is where it should be, I look at him and can’t help but say to him in my head ‘I’ve seen you naked!’
There are other well-known actors on set, but I’ve learnt not to be overwhelmed or be intimidated by their presence. At the end of the day they are normal people like you and me and you learn to leave them alone and get on with their job rather than pester them for an autograph or better worse, a line.

Back on the bus and I keep looking at my phone, maybe my agent’s called me and I’m needed for more days on set? Nothing, I would surely like to do more days even though I know it’ll be six weeks or more before I get paid.
At least lunch is something to look forward to, the catering is always superb, the variety of food is amazing and everything you’d want to eat I’m sure you’ll be likely to find it here. A homeless person would be in heaven here, perhaps they should take advantage when ever they see a TV or Film unit, I’d advice them to approach courteously and stuff their stomachs full, till their hearts content. They’d go unnoticed because they can say they are in costume and the caterers handing out the hot meals would only ask which dish on the menu you would like.

After lunch we are call back on set and are told to wait just outside, it seems like an eternity waiting there in the hot July sun and on top of that I’ve make-up on and a costume that I’m very much willing to take off. I look back at the days when I didn’t have to worry about working and all that would be in my head was next day’s homework. Life is getting tougher and I’m nowhere near where I would like to be.
Everyone who isn’t already on set decides to go back to the bus despite our orders to wait over half an hour ago. The wait is unbearable and the jokes and the laughter soon wear off.
Back on the bus I pick up a magazine some one has left around and find an article on healthy eating and how to improve acne. I successfully copy the details of the website and creams. The article advises to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, focusing the problem on a possible hormonal imbalance, I find that this alone will not work and hope that the new pill I am now taking will be of some benefit even though the side effects and reactions I will have to this medicine will be unbearable for some months. I will have to sacrifice a lot of evenings out and alcohol for that matter, at least until I can face the world again.

The assistant director is back on the bus, I still haven’t been able to catch his name, he seems to have remembered everyone else’s including mine, I think his name sounds like Lorry or Laurie perhaps, maybe next time I’m back on set I’ll be able to remember it. He comes with bad news; we are being released early, its no surprise as it is Friday and everyone seems eager to go on the town for a drink and let they’re hair down. I try to take my time as I head towards the changing room wanting to make something of the overtime if there is anything to make of it even though part of me wants to really go home. Once changed, my make-up is off, I wave goodbye to the other extras and make my way to the car park.
I sit in my car trying to find a way out, not out of the car park but out of the situation I am in. I still haven’t managed to understand how I got here?