FLY ME TO THE MOON
“Fly me to moon, let me play among the stars…” Sang Frank Sinatra as the opening lyrics to the song ‘Fly me to the moon’.
That’s exactly where I wanted to be at the start of this week, The Moon. Was it the start of Valentine’s week, or just another rendition of feeling low for a couple of days where your whole life seems to have no meaning at all?
To occupy my mind and free my self from and imminent depression I filled myself by going out to dinner on Monday night with a couple of friends. Tuesday night I saw ‘The Lives of Others’. It seems as though other people’s lives are filled with nearly the same preoccupations as our own. Everyone has his or her own shit to worry about.
But that shouldn’t make people selfish to only worry about what is happening within their own life.
The lives of others is just that, a seemingly honest movie that not only shows that we have problems but we should also do what we can to help others or at least put a message of hope out there. You don’t have to go to the same extremes that the character Georg Dreyman went through to publicly publish an article about the lives and conditions about suicidal people in East Germany during the 1980s.
Am I suicidal? Of course not, I have hope, but one can’t only live on hope alone. Sometimes the true reality of life itself kicks in that makes me wish I wasn’t Hamilton.
I wasn’t looking forward to Valentine’s Day this week nor were my co-workers at the office. I asked myself, seeing as I’ve been in a relationship for the past six months, why?
The honest answer is that I didn’t have a sign or inclinations that romance was in the air from my other half.
WAIT! What am I saying? I’m not a half of a couple, I am complete and that is what I have to see and learn that my happiness is not dependent upon someone else, right?
My co-workers suggested that if I didn’t get any sign of any plans for V-day that I should join them for a slushy romantic movie, which all of them being single, were going to see. (They saw Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore)
It was more of a support for each other as some of them found no date or the need not to be with someone else on one of the year’s most romantic nights.
What is it about V-day and people’s expectations for this day? That the relationship is still alive? That we have a significant other who cares for us as much as we care for them? Or that some how an ex from the past will call or email and say how foolish they were to let you go?
My only answer to all this has to do with previous V-days. Anyone who has had a decent V-day in the past and this year finds him/herself single or questioning their current relationship will use previous V-days to reminisce on the good V-days they’ve had several years ago.
We cant live on the past and defiantly not by wishing the future was a certain way. So I surrendered to today’s situations and made my Valentine’s Day all that it could be and made plans to see my boyfriend that night. If it hadn’t been for the snow in New York that day something else could’ve been made of the night. But I was content with a take away, a bottle of wine and a good cuddle.
Or was I? I don’t know, I can’t seem to find answers to this, only that I sensed less affection than I was giving.
My resume should state ‘patient person’ along with my other skills. Thursday at work, at house 'DeVil', proved that I was in need of much of it. My mind was elsewhere. Being a Personal Assistant to a similar "Miranda Priestly" required a lot of patience. Because when someone so neurotic who constantly changes their mind not only requires patience but a couple of Valium, Xanax, Ambien and some Advil to numb the pain of sometimes being made to feel wrong, worthless and incompetent.
Come Friday however, I came out on top. Not only did I manage to show that I was a good assistant but also be told that I was right the previous day and win an apology when my boss realized the job at hand is not as easy as it seems. All it took was a good night’s sleep and the knowledge that the next Valentine’s Day was 361 days away.
By the weekend I was comforting a severe hang over, all I remember was waking up at 181st Street on the A train at 4:30am, needing to take a downtown train again. It took me almost two hours to get from Brooklyn, where the party had been, to my little apartment in the Upper West Side.
With the knowledge that came to light via an email from the birthday girl that I had somehow picked a confrontation and offended the lead singer of a popular band about music tastes and fashion, made me quickly retrace my steps to the previous night to find out what I had done wrong.
It's not within my character to pick confrontations or offend people; I made a dash for it and apologized for my actions. I think I got drunk too quick and wasn’t pacing myself with the alcohol. I spent Saturday afternoon questioning my actions of the previous night leading me to believe I was heading to a similar crisis like the one Britney Spears is confronting right now…
Next Blog: 25th February.
“Fly me to moon, let me play among the stars…” Sang Frank Sinatra as the opening lyrics to the song ‘Fly me to the moon’.
That’s exactly where I wanted to be at the start of this week, The Moon. Was it the start of Valentine’s week, or just another rendition of feeling low for a couple of days where your whole life seems to have no meaning at all?
To occupy my mind and free my self from and imminent depression I filled myself by going out to dinner on Monday night with a couple of friends. Tuesday night I saw ‘The Lives of Others’. It seems as though other people’s lives are filled with nearly the same preoccupations as our own. Everyone has his or her own shit to worry about.
But that shouldn’t make people selfish to only worry about what is happening within their own life.
The lives of others is just that, a seemingly honest movie that not only shows that we have problems but we should also do what we can to help others or at least put a message of hope out there. You don’t have to go to the same extremes that the character Georg Dreyman went through to publicly publish an article about the lives and conditions about suicidal people in East Germany during the 1980s.
Am I suicidal? Of course not, I have hope, but one can’t only live on hope alone. Sometimes the true reality of life itself kicks in that makes me wish I wasn’t Hamilton.
I wasn’t looking forward to Valentine’s Day this week nor were my co-workers at the office. I asked myself, seeing as I’ve been in a relationship for the past six months, why?
The honest answer is that I didn’t have a sign or inclinations that romance was in the air from my other half.
WAIT! What am I saying? I’m not a half of a couple, I am complete and that is what I have to see and learn that my happiness is not dependent upon someone else, right?
My co-workers suggested that if I didn’t get any sign of any plans for V-day that I should join them for a slushy romantic movie, which all of them being single, were going to see. (They saw Music and Lyrics with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore)
It was more of a support for each other as some of them found no date or the need not to be with someone else on one of the year’s most romantic nights.
What is it about V-day and people’s expectations for this day? That the relationship is still alive? That we have a significant other who cares for us as much as we care for them? Or that some how an ex from the past will call or email and say how foolish they were to let you go?
My only answer to all this has to do with previous V-days. Anyone who has had a decent V-day in the past and this year finds him/herself single or questioning their current relationship will use previous V-days to reminisce on the good V-days they’ve had several years ago.
We cant live on the past and defiantly not by wishing the future was a certain way. So I surrendered to today’s situations and made my Valentine’s Day all that it could be and made plans to see my boyfriend that night. If it hadn’t been for the snow in New York that day something else could’ve been made of the night. But I was content with a take away, a bottle of wine and a good cuddle.
Or was I? I don’t know, I can’t seem to find answers to this, only that I sensed less affection than I was giving.
My resume should state ‘patient person’ along with my other skills. Thursday at work, at house 'DeVil', proved that I was in need of much of it. My mind was elsewhere. Being a Personal Assistant to a similar "Miranda Priestly" required a lot of patience. Because when someone so neurotic who constantly changes their mind not only requires patience but a couple of Valium, Xanax, Ambien and some Advil to numb the pain of sometimes being made to feel wrong, worthless and incompetent.
Come Friday however, I came out on top. Not only did I manage to show that I was a good assistant but also be told that I was right the previous day and win an apology when my boss realized the job at hand is not as easy as it seems. All it took was a good night’s sleep and the knowledge that the next Valentine’s Day was 361 days away.
By the weekend I was comforting a severe hang over, all I remember was waking up at 181st Street on the A train at 4:30am, needing to take a downtown train again. It took me almost two hours to get from Brooklyn, where the party had been, to my little apartment in the Upper West Side.
With the knowledge that came to light via an email from the birthday girl that I had somehow picked a confrontation and offended the lead singer of a popular band about music tastes and fashion, made me quickly retrace my steps to the previous night to find out what I had done wrong.
It's not within my character to pick confrontations or offend people; I made a dash for it and apologized for my actions. I think I got drunk too quick and wasn’t pacing myself with the alcohol. I spent Saturday afternoon questioning my actions of the previous night leading me to believe I was heading to a similar crisis like the one Britney Spears is confronting right now…
Next Blog: 25th February.
Labels: Frank Sinatra, valentine, work
posted by Hamilton at 11:57 PM
1 Comments:
very brave of you Hammy to put your thoughts and feelings on the net. good work.
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