I LOVE NEW YORK





“I Want to be a part of it ….I want to wake up in a city that doesn’t sleep…if I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere” Sang Frank Sinatra on one of his most famous songs that have accompanied images of New York City around the globe, ‘New York, New York’.

It is a jungle out there, everyone is out for himself or herself and there are many species and places on the verge of extinction; people, restaurants and shops come and go like a new season’s fashion trend. I’m telling you the average immigrant in this city can only last a few years. True New Yorkers stick around because they have been here long enough to put up with what the City throws at you. Other people moan and complain about the lack of things, mainly within their lives, true New Yorkers accept the City for what it is and take advantage of its true potential and what it has to offer.

In an attempt to become a true New Yorker, rather than be seen as another alien from London, England making it in New York and let the City get to me, and at the same time remain a Londoner at heart. I went to the gym on Monday to sweat out my tears from last week’s near life crisis. I found it very rewarding pushing myself to new limits as to how much I can run for, how much weight I can bench press or lift. It definitely took my mind of things and I began focussing on new goals.
Later that Monday afternoon I strode to a different part of the City that I have fallen in love with because of the way television shows, such as ‘Friends’ and of course ‘Sex and the City’, have captured it in the past. People today say the ‘West Village’ is over rated. I found it quite astonishing walking through some of its cobble streets, and perhaps it was a reminder of some parts similar to London that made me feel ‘at home’.
There it was, my flat, a tall glass building overlooking the Hudson River, in the distant corner the skyscrapers of the Financial District and the Statue of Liberty and beyond to Jersey City. “What a view” I said to myself, “This is where I want to live, I’m moving in, I don’t know when, I don’t know how, this is my new apartment building”

Come Tuesday at work, I sensed a sombre and disheartening mood at the office. Was everyone else having a life crisis? I took it upon myself to cheer everyone up and get their hopes up somewhat, to look at the bright side of life, situations and people rather than allow them to cause further damage.
That night I went to the New York premiere at the IFC Theatre of a documentary film ‘Everything’s Cool’ directed by Daniel B. Gold and Judith Helfand both of who gave a small talk at the end.
Yet again I was seeing a movie in which the people want to help others, not just others but the planet too. The movie focussed on the effects of Global Warming and followed several characters and the activities they had taken up to get this critical message across. Too many characters made this movie a melodrama, but I found it very informative and proved that there is a situation at hand, which WE CAN ALL HELP TO IMPROVE, should we put our minds to it.

I was becoming a New Yorker; establishing my home and living space, going to the gym (crucial to all New Yorkers who want to be healthy and look good), attending movie premieres with co-workers. I’m slowly beginning to accept the City for what it is.

Wednesday at work the mood had shifted a little and we were all more optimistic than the previous day. We had a feast of grilled cheese sandwiches, to celebrate our boss’ ‘30th anniversary on winning the Academy Award’.
That night I knew I was seeing (Mr G). I had received an email from him telling me to come over that night for a talk. We hadn’t spoken to each other in five days, so I kept positive and optimistic for whatever the outcome of the ‘talk’ we were about to have.

It was one of the most pleasant break-ups I’ve had in a long time. I find it grateful when a couple sit and talk about what they each want or to discuss where the relationship is at or where it is going, rather than avoid the conversation all together and allow the relationship to escalate to dangerous emotions and possible unwanted hatred. (And for what it was, the break up sex was worth it too).
Perhaps it was what I needed, and I saw it as a positive step for the both of us, in terms of where we were with our lives and where our minds were. Rather than pinpoint a culprit, I was grateful for what the relationship had been and what it had taught me. I was once told that if you love something or someone, to let them go, rather than to hold on to them like we hold on to our pillows at night. I did just that. I let go of him. This was my happy ending; it’s the way that I love, like its forever, then live the rest of our life but not together. I surrendered to the situation, there was no use pretending; the pieces didn’t fit here anymore. I couldn’t help feel sadness within, of how things could have been, or of how things would have been. I shouldn’t duel on the past nor attempt to change it, for things happen for a reason, instead I was content that I had gained a good friend, someone who I could rely on, someone who has helped me and encouraged me to find my feet, to dig deep in the grounds on this chaotic City and find my place within it.

By Thursday I was trying to find answers to my life, to find myself yet again, I told myself or rather MIKA sang to me “Relax, take it easy, for there is nothing that we can do…there is an answer to the darkest times…don’t scream, there are so many roads left”. Life is one long road, sometimes even a rollercoaster of emotions. I had to pick myself up again. I couldn’t allow it to get me down yet again or to stop at this junction, a crossroad in my monotonous life. I moved my feet and joined the road of life. I wasn’t ready to become another human on the verge of extinction in this jungle of a City. I don’t know where the road is heading right now, soon I’ll know, soon I’ll have all the answers, all I know is that its a good and happy place where I am successful. All I need is to plan my next destination with great care.

That afternoon I took another walk (wondering the streets of New York is what I do best). I found my self in ‘Times Square’; the capital and centre of our universe.
There under the pouring rain, in the middle of the brightly lit square, between the multitude of yellow Taxis Cabs, and the hustle and bustle of people and tourists, I wept. Not because I was sad or depressed, but because I had realized where I was, “Fucking New York City!”

Next Blog: Sunday 4th March