NO LIMITS: JUST DANCE
The week began much like the previous one had ended; busy. I had three nights of consecutive live bands since last Thursday. After my LOGO event last week, I joined a friend for his birthday dinner at a Cuban restaurant where a live Cuban band was playing. This bought some memories of my childhood as some of the rhythm of the music had similarities to that style of music I grew up listening to back in Colombia.
My music tastes are anything but Latin nowadays and I would say my tastes are eclectic, ranging from one extreme to the other.
Last Friday I saw Semi Precious Weapons; if you read my Blog last week you’ll know. Saturday (which I didn’t get to write about because it’s the day that I write my Blogs from a coffee shop in the West Village) I saw Jay Brennan, an acoustic guitar player and singer. There is something about seeing people perform live, good performers that make you feel more drawn to them and their music.
Jay sang about real events that have occurred to him, about boyfriends and life in general which made it all worthwhile as I could relate to some of songs and at times felt that I could have written them. Sometimes all gay men go through mirroring faces in life; coming out to your parents, our first time with another guy, the pursuit of a boyfriend or Mr Right, getting out hearts broken and general gay life itself.
My favourite two songs of him were ‘I Want to be a Housewife’ and ‘Body’s a Temple’; because they each talk about wanting to obtain the unattainable and at the same time having no limitations about what we wish for ourselves. Is not that I want to be a housewife right now, I’m sure I could be with out the need to move to the suburbs and sell my live away with endless cooking and cleaning. But is about wanting to attain that stability in my life with out limitations or expectations that sometimes draw boundaries in everyday life.
I guess my pursuit for some meaning in my life has lead me to a quest in Kabbalah, Spiritual Enlightenment, and The Power of Now, which in itself is positive thinking and being in the present.
I keep reminding myself of why I chose to come to New York, to have suddenly dropped everything in London, my work, my home comforts, my friends, my family all for the pursuit of something I keep questioning. (And no I wasn’t running away from anything or anyone)
I didn’t set myself limitations in what I could achieve. Its not that I had a big Ego and wanted to show people off and say, “Hey I’m in New York, where the fuck are you?” It was more like “Who said I couldn’t do it?” I’ve always wanted to live in New York and make it here by working in Television and Film.
I didn’t see the implications my planned trip to the states had last summer, but I managed to work round them, not knowing what would happen upon my arrival, sticking to my guts, living on savings and no income at all. Then the month I had intended to stay for passed and I stayed on for three, then I had to work my way round the immigration red-tape to stay longer (legal of course). I didn’t set myself a limit of how long I was going to stay and to this day I don’t even know how much longer I’ll remain in New York for and I would have kicked my self, if in later years I found myself in London asking myself why I didn’t make this trip; a journey in my life.
Monday night confirmed my reasons of why I’m here. To make films. I was at the premiere of a documentary called ‘Addiction’; it’s made up of collective shorter documentaries, one of which, the production company I work for made. It tells the stories of different people, young and old, with problems of narcotic and alcohol addiction and how they are struggling to overcome it. (Sophie Dahl also attended may I add).
There in the audience I remembered last week’s invitation to MTV LOGO and the connections that I made. I somehow wanted to involve my work in film and the gay community. If volunteering for GLAAD and telling a Gay TV Network that you have a documentary planned then what do I call desperation? Yes I had also just done that! I volunteered to work for Gay And Lesbians Against Defamation. Why? Why not! I don’t set myself limits I only know the boundaries. But it seemed perfectly understandable to be with an organization that is involved in the Media. I had made my connections with LOGO, now I have to use them wisely.
As the week progressed I found a new friend in an IT Consultant who promised to help me organize and create new emails for my co-workers. This was closely followed by more rigorous hours at the gym, to which I’m still not convinced my body is changing, maybe it’s me and I need someone other than me to tell me so.
****************************************************************************
Right now I can’t be arsed to write anything more. All the above was written on Friday and now its Sunday and I really don’t want to be thinking of what to write. But I guess I must make an effort to finish it somehow. And why can’t I be arsed to write? I blame Roxy.
Thursday and Friday at my Personal Assistant job, I contemplated why I was doing what I was doing. I was tired from Wednesday nights outing to ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ and it seemed all the late nights were accumulating rapidly and I began to see dark circles under my eyes. I needed sleep. Badly. But not even sleep could prepare me for what I face on these two days. Miranda and her husband broke into a plain argument that could have started World War Three. After a couple of hours rearranging files and furniture, they both question their position in the office, one pointing where it should go, the other saying it wouldn’t look good there. “Will someone tell me where to put this filing cabinet?” I ask myself.
“No it can’t go there,” she says. I’ve never seen a couple argue about the position of furniture, the way they did. I was in the middle of the crossfire. Not that it was any of my fault; I was just there to lend a helping hand. I didn’t know what to do, either do I look away? Or just move out of the picture? “Here, is this how you want it?” the husband said now being passive aggressive and arranging the filing cabinet in the way he thought Miranda would be pleased. “No, just leave it, you are not listening to me,” she continued.” “Min, I don’t know what you are asking me, I’m leaving” and with that he took off into his upstairs office, reconsidering his move into a joint office with his wife. By Friday they were a normal couple again. Brilliant. But how do they manage? How do they handle each other? I guess they’ve been together long enough to withstand anything, and I admire that in couples who have been together for years and still manage to make it work, even through the roughest of arguments.
The weekend saw the return of Hamilton at his best. I picked up my camcorder in I don’t know how many months and started filming my ‘Subject’; a friend who agreed to let me capture him on film for the next foreseeable future. I was pleased I was beginning my small documentary project, and sought other friends who wanted to be part of my ‘Subjects’ project. Who says I can’t do it? I have no limitations and the more I wait for things to happen or for things to come to my lap the more I’ll be kicking myself in when I realize they haven’t come or I haven’t ventured out for them. The idea of course came from watching “Addiction”. I had a brilliant plan to make a documentary involving gay men and lesbian women overcoming their struggles. (More of this as I find out what shape the film is taking)
Saturday night I went to the ‘Last Dance’ at Roxy, one of New York’s most famous clubs. It was the last time it was opening its doors to the public and I wanted to be part of this historic closing. What am I talking about? I just wanted to dance. And danced I did till 6am in the morning, until my feet couldn’t take it anymore, until the sweat of my body began to dry, until the alcohol wore off and I could dance no more, until dawn broke and Roxy was no more.
Next Blog: March 18th
The week began much like the previous one had ended; busy. I had three nights of consecutive live bands since last Thursday. After my LOGO event last week, I joined a friend for his birthday dinner at a Cuban restaurant where a live Cuban band was playing. This bought some memories of my childhood as some of the rhythm of the music had similarities to that style of music I grew up listening to back in Colombia.
My music tastes are anything but Latin nowadays and I would say my tastes are eclectic, ranging from one extreme to the other.
Last Friday I saw Semi Precious Weapons; if you read my Blog last week you’ll know. Saturday (which I didn’t get to write about because it’s the day that I write my Blogs from a coffee shop in the West Village) I saw Jay Brennan, an acoustic guitar player and singer. There is something about seeing people perform live, good performers that make you feel more drawn to them and their music.
Jay sang about real events that have occurred to him, about boyfriends and life in general which made it all worthwhile as I could relate to some of songs and at times felt that I could have written them. Sometimes all gay men go through mirroring faces in life; coming out to your parents, our first time with another guy, the pursuit of a boyfriend or Mr Right, getting out hearts broken and general gay life itself.
My favourite two songs of him were ‘I Want to be a Housewife’ and ‘Body’s a Temple’; because they each talk about wanting to obtain the unattainable and at the same time having no limitations about what we wish for ourselves. Is not that I want to be a housewife right now, I’m sure I could be with out the need to move to the suburbs and sell my live away with endless cooking and cleaning. But is about wanting to attain that stability in my life with out limitations or expectations that sometimes draw boundaries in everyday life.
I guess my pursuit for some meaning in my life has lead me to a quest in Kabbalah, Spiritual Enlightenment, and The Power of Now, which in itself is positive thinking and being in the present.
I keep reminding myself of why I chose to come to New York, to have suddenly dropped everything in London, my work, my home comforts, my friends, my family all for the pursuit of something I keep questioning. (And no I wasn’t running away from anything or anyone)
I didn’t set myself limitations in what I could achieve. Its not that I had a big Ego and wanted to show people off and say, “Hey I’m in New York, where the fuck are you?” It was more like “Who said I couldn’t do it?” I’ve always wanted to live in New York and make it here by working in Television and Film.
I didn’t see the implications my planned trip to the states had last summer, but I managed to work round them, not knowing what would happen upon my arrival, sticking to my guts, living on savings and no income at all. Then the month I had intended to stay for passed and I stayed on for three, then I had to work my way round the immigration red-tape to stay longer (legal of course). I didn’t set myself a limit of how long I was going to stay and to this day I don’t even know how much longer I’ll remain in New York for and I would have kicked my self, if in later years I found myself in London asking myself why I didn’t make this trip; a journey in my life.
Monday night confirmed my reasons of why I’m here. To make films. I was at the premiere of a documentary called ‘Addiction’; it’s made up of collective shorter documentaries, one of which, the production company I work for made. It tells the stories of different people, young and old, with problems of narcotic and alcohol addiction and how they are struggling to overcome it. (Sophie Dahl also attended may I add).
There in the audience I remembered last week’s invitation to MTV LOGO and the connections that I made. I somehow wanted to involve my work in film and the gay community. If volunteering for GLAAD and telling a Gay TV Network that you have a documentary planned then what do I call desperation? Yes I had also just done that! I volunteered to work for Gay And Lesbians Against Defamation. Why? Why not! I don’t set myself limits I only know the boundaries. But it seemed perfectly understandable to be with an organization that is involved in the Media. I had made my connections with LOGO, now I have to use them wisely.
As the week progressed I found a new friend in an IT Consultant who promised to help me organize and create new emails for my co-workers. This was closely followed by more rigorous hours at the gym, to which I’m still not convinced my body is changing, maybe it’s me and I need someone other than me to tell me so.
****************************************************************************
Right now I can’t be arsed to write anything more. All the above was written on Friday and now its Sunday and I really don’t want to be thinking of what to write. But I guess I must make an effort to finish it somehow. And why can’t I be arsed to write? I blame Roxy.
Thursday and Friday at my Personal Assistant job, I contemplated why I was doing what I was doing. I was tired from Wednesday nights outing to ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ and it seemed all the late nights were accumulating rapidly and I began to see dark circles under my eyes. I needed sleep. Badly. But not even sleep could prepare me for what I face on these two days. Miranda and her husband broke into a plain argument that could have started World War Three. After a couple of hours rearranging files and furniture, they both question their position in the office, one pointing where it should go, the other saying it wouldn’t look good there. “Will someone tell me where to put this filing cabinet?” I ask myself.
“No it can’t go there,” she says. I’ve never seen a couple argue about the position of furniture, the way they did. I was in the middle of the crossfire. Not that it was any of my fault; I was just there to lend a helping hand. I didn’t know what to do, either do I look away? Or just move out of the picture? “Here, is this how you want it?” the husband said now being passive aggressive and arranging the filing cabinet in the way he thought Miranda would be pleased. “No, just leave it, you are not listening to me,” she continued.” “Min, I don’t know what you are asking me, I’m leaving” and with that he took off into his upstairs office, reconsidering his move into a joint office with his wife. By Friday they were a normal couple again. Brilliant. But how do they manage? How do they handle each other? I guess they’ve been together long enough to withstand anything, and I admire that in couples who have been together for years and still manage to make it work, even through the roughest of arguments.
The weekend saw the return of Hamilton at his best. I picked up my camcorder in I don’t know how many months and started filming my ‘Subject’; a friend who agreed to let me capture him on film for the next foreseeable future. I was pleased I was beginning my small documentary project, and sought other friends who wanted to be part of my ‘Subjects’ project. Who says I can’t do it? I have no limitations and the more I wait for things to happen or for things to come to my lap the more I’ll be kicking myself in when I realize they haven’t come or I haven’t ventured out for them. The idea of course came from watching “Addiction”. I had a brilliant plan to make a documentary involving gay men and lesbian women overcoming their struggles. (More of this as I find out what shape the film is taking)
Saturday night I went to the ‘Last Dance’ at Roxy, one of New York’s most famous clubs. It was the last time it was opening its doors to the public and I wanted to be part of this historic closing. What am I talking about? I just wanted to dance. And danced I did till 6am in the morning, until my feet couldn’t take it anymore, until the sweat of my body began to dry, until the alcohol wore off and I could dance no more, until dawn broke and Roxy was no more.
Next Blog: March 18th
posted by Hamilton at 3:58 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home