I AM SUPERMAN: FROM HIRO TO ETERNITY
The holiday season is upon New York City and everywhere I turn I see lights, decorations, Christmas music and people in good cheer.
It’s the season where people do good deeds, share and give to others. Yet somehow I feel I have been let down by certain friends amidst the holiday spirit.
I have been fortunate to turn things around for me in the last month. I now find myself in a strong employed position, where my opinions and decisions matter. Where my voiced is heard and I am trusted to co-direct small scenes for educational programs at a successful production company.
I combine this with my other day job, at a coffee shop in the lovely neighbourhood of Brooklyn Heights.
Before last month I found myself in almost despair because I was not earning money nor I was doing anything productive with my time off. Now that that gap has been filled in my life another one has now emerged. I guess we cannot always have everything at once.
It certainly has been a very interesting month from my perspective. From that Sunday night a month ago clubbing at Hiro, where for the first time this season I met a guy whom I thought was decent enough for a coffee date. I thought wrong as I was fooled by another flake that doesn’t return calls. Then I wonder if it was the Thanksgiving party I hosted where he was put off by witnessing an aggressive and confrontational me? (Which I never am by the way) If you are wondering why I happen to get confrontational that night, my only answer is that sometimes we all get a little intoxicated and demand our friends or a friend in this situation to leave, when the possibility of a positive resolution could have been the latter, rather that an unprovoked argument.
I’ve come to the conclusion that dating guys in New York City will have to wait until my living situation is resolved. I seemed to be all over the place and right now all over the city, to be able to be dating.
Dating will just be put on hold until 2008, or when the time feels right. For now, I continue to resume with getting a stable job and pursue my purpose and career goals, which in the last month have also become more apparent to me.
I continue to smile and remain as positive as I can about all the outcomes that I want from New York City. Somehow I have this strength in me where I am able to look at what everything life throws at me, all the impossible situations, all the dilemmas about whether to remain in this city or not, to my living arrangements, to job situations. I look at everything and I laugh, because when we are on the verge of showing weakness or on the moment of letting it all get to us, it is when we have to put on our best, stick out my chest and deal with life. Smile and laugh it off, because these experiences are the ones that will carry us forward and make us stronger.
I remain defiant even if I no longer have Chelsea. But from the experience, I have learnt more about real friendship and I am thankful to have amazing friends in the city, which I can turn to for help, and of course who can also turn to me for help or maybe just good old chat. I feel like superman with an iron shield that can deal with anything that is thrown at me.
The holiday season continues and the Christmas parties get abundant, I light Hanukkah candles and I feel somewhat nostalgic at the thought of not being in London this year with my family.
Yes I do get homesick and sad that I am so far away from them, but a the same time I hope they understand why I need to be here, why I am pursuing the impossible, why I am pursuing the unattainable and why I do what I do and why it is taking me an eternity to achieve it. Maybe, just maybe it won’t be an eternity but a matter of days, one can only hope.
The holiday season is upon New York City and everywhere I turn I see lights, decorations, Christmas music and people in good cheer.
It’s the season where people do good deeds, share and give to others. Yet somehow I feel I have been let down by certain friends amidst the holiday spirit.
I have been fortunate to turn things around for me in the last month. I now find myself in a strong employed position, where my opinions and decisions matter. Where my voiced is heard and I am trusted to co-direct small scenes for educational programs at a successful production company.
I combine this with my other day job, at a coffee shop in the lovely neighbourhood of Brooklyn Heights.
Before last month I found myself in almost despair because I was not earning money nor I was doing anything productive with my time off. Now that that gap has been filled in my life another one has now emerged. I guess we cannot always have everything at once.
It certainly has been a very interesting month from my perspective. From that Sunday night a month ago clubbing at Hiro, where for the first time this season I met a guy whom I thought was decent enough for a coffee date. I thought wrong as I was fooled by another flake that doesn’t return calls. Then I wonder if it was the Thanksgiving party I hosted where he was put off by witnessing an aggressive and confrontational me? (Which I never am by the way) If you are wondering why I happen to get confrontational that night, my only answer is that sometimes we all get a little intoxicated and demand our friends or a friend in this situation to leave, when the possibility of a positive resolution could have been the latter, rather that an unprovoked argument.
I’ve come to the conclusion that dating guys in New York City will have to wait until my living situation is resolved. I seemed to be all over the place and right now all over the city, to be able to be dating.
Dating will just be put on hold until 2008, or when the time feels right. For now, I continue to resume with getting a stable job and pursue my purpose and career goals, which in the last month have also become more apparent to me.
I continue to smile and remain as positive as I can about all the outcomes that I want from New York City. Somehow I have this strength in me where I am able to look at what everything life throws at me, all the impossible situations, all the dilemmas about whether to remain in this city or not, to my living arrangements, to job situations. I look at everything and I laugh, because when we are on the verge of showing weakness or on the moment of letting it all get to us, it is when we have to put on our best, stick out my chest and deal with life. Smile and laugh it off, because these experiences are the ones that will carry us forward and make us stronger.
I remain defiant even if I no longer have Chelsea. But from the experience, I have learnt more about real friendship and I am thankful to have amazing friends in the city, which I can turn to for help, and of course who can also turn to me for help or maybe just good old chat. I feel like superman with an iron shield that can deal with anything that is thrown at me.
The holiday season continues and the Christmas parties get abundant, I light Hanukkah candles and I feel somewhat nostalgic at the thought of not being in London this year with my family.
Yes I do get homesick and sad that I am so far away from them, but a the same time I hope they understand why I need to be here, why I am pursuing the impossible, why I am pursuing the unattainable and why I do what I do and why it is taking me an eternity to achieve it. Maybe, just maybe it won’t be an eternity but a matter of days, one can only hope.
posted by Hamilton at 5:28 AM
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