REAL HAMILTON




It’s been Five months since I was due to write a blog. Just before May 15th I suddenly stopped without giving reason.
Looking back at the last three months I can see the events that lead to my ‘writer’s block’, if one can call it that.

But you don’t need to be filled in with those boring details. None the less the last five months have seen me march with GLAAD at New York’s Gay Pride, as well as volunteering for other smaller events for them.

I’ve also been for Fire Island, which I’ve wanted to do since I learnt about it last year. I spent an amazing weekend in The Hamptons, something I’ve been meaning to do also. I’ve gone from Go-Go dancing at Bowie Ball to Animal spotting at Bronx Zoo and rollercoaster riding in Coney Island.

Apart from that, I’ve managed to make an amazing bunch of new friends that have led to countless drunken nights in Hell’s Kitchen and the East Village.

Now I find myself back In London, my hometown. I somehow feel like I’ve come full circle, because I’ve started to realize what can be attainable and what can’t. I’m not saying that I’ve given up on the dream to leave in America, but that I’ve managed to see things clearly.
Sometimes limitations are imposed on us, or unforeseen events occur that make us stop in our walks through this marvellous life and force us to see beyond the cracks on the pavement.

I guess my summer in London has forced me to reassess my situation, circumstances, needs and wants and most importantly question my motives for wanting to be in America.
The more time I spend here, the more I see that London offers the same collective ‘resources’ that New York City does. Saying so, should I question the need to be in New York all together? The same shops that are in New York I can now find in London if I look real close, the lifestyle is somewhat similar; bars, clubs and cafes offer the same entertainment. Only though that transport doesn’t run all night.

The only thing is perhaps that I don’t have the same freedom as I do in New York. Perhaps that would change if I didn’t have to live at home, under family comforts, and I were to lived in a place of my own here in London. That way I wouldn’t have to live under a restrain of curfews timed outings and have to answer to family meals each night. Maybe then, by living in London and not at home, I can have the same lifestyle that I have in New York.

But should I see America as the ultimate milestone? Crossing the last frontier? The opportunity for success? Or maybe I’ve been sold the wrong American dream?
I guess the Media, society itself and other factors have made America as the only place where you can really make it, succeed and achieve all your dreams. As the saying goes “If I can make it there, I can make it anywhere”. Really? I don’t think so.

Perhaps there is bigger investment, more investors and the opportunity to make more money. I now believe that you don’t have to be in New York, Los Angeles or anywhere in America to be successful. I believe that if you really want to “make it”, you can do it anywhere in the world you choose to be.

Life is not perfect and has no guarantees of anything, so I’ll just keep on going the way I am and let the rest take its course. That is why, I am not complacent anymore, and I guess I’m not limiting myself to just being in New York or London for that matter. I have no regrets, I guess I can live on and know in my conscience that at least I tried to be in a place that I thought could offer something that I wanted; now I see that there are no limitations to that. I have to be real, and take it day by day. I have to be real Hamilton.



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